Wednesday, January 21, 2004
Crummy Cones and Coupons...
Yes, that's right. It's time for another installment of "Silly ways that I'm irritated with Braums". We recently bought some Ice Cream Cones from the B-Store. I pulled one out today to make an Ice Cream Cone for the kids and there it was - The Defect. Not just any old defect mind you. The entire bottom of the cone was missing, so I guess it was really more of an ice cream cylinder. Try explaining that to a 2 yr old... "No really, just hold your hand under it so the Ice Cream won't fall on the floor. It will be just fine, really".
Irritation Number Two for today came when my wife showed me a coupon she was given at Raumsbay by the cashier. It was a dollar off if you spent $10 from the Fresh Market Meat and Produce Section. Why would I be irritated with that? There in plain English it states, "Expires December 31, 2003". ARGH
Irritation Number Two for today came when my wife showed me a coupon she was given at Raumsbay by the cashier. It was a dollar off if you spent $10 from the Fresh Market Meat and Produce Section. Why would I be irritated with that? There in plain English it states, "Expires December 31, 2003". ARGH
Sunday, January 18, 2004
On Again Off Again
If you've been following along, you know that Braums has been teetering on the brink of being labeled a crummy place to visit. Just the other day there was the mishap with the plastic bag and now I have from a very reliable source that they do not give refills. Period. Not even for a quarter. You finish your drink at Braums and you want more, you buy the whole deal all over again. Twice this has happened to a friend of mine. The first time, he was just stunned beyond belief. The second time it happened, the cashier must have known what he was at the counter for, because she wouldn't even stop to help him and when she did, and he asked for a refill, she wouldn't even look him in the eye. Just a "We don't give refills" and on about her way. Now, I know there are still a couple of places that charge you a nominal fee for a refill, but this has to be the worst example I've ever seen of a bean counter run amok. I can hear him now.... "Hmmm... According to these figures, if we stop giving refills we'll save 2.9 cents per day and alienate our best customers in the process!!" And I'm sure there was yet another store meeting I'd love to have been able to hear. I"ll bet it went something like this...
"OK troops. Gather round. Just got an urgent message from HQ in Tuttle. Yeah, they sent it by carrier pigeon again. Says here that effective immediately we are to implement Ops Plan 'DRY GULCH'."
"AHHHH... OH.... What?" Collective shock and amazement from the troops. Squad Leader Stimpy finally pipes up, "Boss, do you think it will work? Can we really sucker our customers into paying for every cup of soda pop they consume here when they can go to any other place in town and drink all they want for one price?"
"Of Course! HQ is never wrong! Now are you with me!"
"Uh, yeah. OK."
"I can't hear you! Are you with me!!"
"Yeah!"
"Boss, should we send a confirmation message back with the pigeon?"
"What? No, no... Our last shipment of chicken sandwiches was a little short. Start plucking, Stimpy...."
"OK troops. Gather round. Just got an urgent message from HQ in Tuttle. Yeah, they sent it by carrier pigeon again. Says here that effective immediately we are to implement Ops Plan 'DRY GULCH'."
"AHHHH... OH.... What?" Collective shock and amazement from the troops. Squad Leader Stimpy finally pipes up, "Boss, do you think it will work? Can we really sucker our customers into paying for every cup of soda pop they consume here when they can go to any other place in town and drink all they want for one price?"
"Of Course! HQ is never wrong! Now are you with me!"
"Uh, yeah. OK."
"I can't hear you! Are you with me!!"
"Yeah!"
"Boss, should we send a confirmation message back with the pigeon?"
"What? No, no... Our last shipment of chicken sandwiches was a little short. Start plucking, Stimpy...."
Cats and Dogs Revisited
"I had weird dreams last night," she said...
"Me too. What were yours about" I yawned.
"Hmmm... It was about Lance and Vicki. They were engaged. We were all in Florida and Shirley was telling me about how they got engaged. They had been kayaking on some river, you know the one they told us about... the one with all the shops along the way. Anyway, they took a break and went into one of the shops and they had these big oversized crayons. Lance had snuck one in the store that had a label on it that said, 'Will you marry me Vicki?' and he told her she should pick out a crayon. Well, she found the right one and was so surprised, it took her about 15 minutes before she ever said yes. How romantic... What was your dream about?"
"Some crazy man who held a whole town at bay with a six pack of Grape Soda," I said truthfully.
This statement was met with 'the look'.
"No really... I don't know why but everyone was chasing after him. The guy grabs a six pack of Grape Soda and uses it as a weapon. At one point, he bashed in the window of a motor home and chunked an open bottle of soda through it like a molatov cocktail. Everyone near it really started running when he tossed in the lit match. Then, some unsuspecting gal stumbled into his grasp. Now he has a hostage. He cracks open another bottle and holds it threateningly above her head like it's acid. 'Don't make me do it! I'll burn her! I'll do it!', he says..."
The 'look' again followed by "You need your coffee..."
"Me too. What were yours about" I yawned.
"Hmmm... It was about Lance and Vicki. They were engaged. We were all in Florida and Shirley was telling me about how they got engaged. They had been kayaking on some river, you know the one they told us about... the one with all the shops along the way. Anyway, they took a break and went into one of the shops and they had these big oversized crayons. Lance had snuck one in the store that had a label on it that said, 'Will you marry me Vicki?' and he told her she should pick out a crayon. Well, she found the right one and was so surprised, it took her about 15 minutes before she ever said yes. How romantic... What was your dream about?"
"Some crazy man who held a whole town at bay with a six pack of Grape Soda," I said truthfully.
This statement was met with 'the look'.
"No really... I don't know why but everyone was chasing after him. The guy grabs a six pack of Grape Soda and uses it as a weapon. At one point, he bashed in the window of a motor home and chunked an open bottle of soda through it like a molatov cocktail. Everyone near it really started running when he tossed in the lit match. Then, some unsuspecting gal stumbled into his grasp. Now he has a hostage. He cracks open another bottle and holds it threateningly above her head like it's acid. 'Don't make me do it! I'll burn her! I'll do it!', he says..."
The 'look' again followed by "You need your coffee..."
Saturday, January 10, 2004
Crisis Averted
The shock and awe of my previous post turned to pleasant surprise when I went to Braums for the Family Fix and was rewarded with a good old paper sack made from good old trees. (Cut down in the prime of their life I'm sure, but that's another story) Apparently, (Due to my post) Braums decided to rethink their comple move to plastic.
From what I gathered in the checkout line, if you get Milk or Ice Cream or any other dairy product weighing more than the 3.5 oz weight limit of the plastic bag you will get a paper sack. All the grocery items that Braums has recently started carrying will go in the plastic sack. I'd like to have been in the store meeting when the manager explained that one to the troops.
"OK, here's the deal. Dairy goes in paper. Grocery goes in plastic. Any Questions?"
"But what if they request a paper sack? Or what if they buy Dairy and Grocery?"
"Hmmm. Hadn't thought of that. OK, then. You can do a little test tomorrow. If some guy comes in and buys a gallon of milk and some chocolate syrup, just put it in a plastic sack see what happens."
"Boss, You're a genius! A twisted evil genius!!"
From what I gathered in the checkout line, if you get Milk or Ice Cream or any other dairy product weighing more than the 3.5 oz weight limit of the plastic bag you will get a paper sack. All the grocery items that Braums has recently started carrying will go in the plastic sack. I'd like to have been in the store meeting when the manager explained that one to the troops.
"OK, here's the deal. Dairy goes in paper. Grocery goes in plastic. Any Questions?"
"But what if they request a paper sack? Or what if they buy Dairy and Grocery?"
"Hmmm. Hadn't thought of that. OK, then. You can do a little test tomorrow. If some guy comes in and buys a gallon of milk and some chocolate syrup, just put it in a plastic sack see what happens."
"Boss, You're a genius! A twisted evil genius!!"
Tuesday, January 06, 2004
Yet another sign of the apocalypse...
I was shocked (and I'm sure you will be as well) to learn today that Braums, the primary purveyor of paper sacks which this family seems to covet, has switched over the Dark Side. That's right, they've gone the way of the Evil Empire and now only provide plastic bags. What was most disturbing about it all was that there was no explanation, no sign posted to annouce this upcoming, life altering change, no "Sorry, but you won't be getting your 2% milk in a nice rectangular sack (with handles) anymore. In it's place we've decided to give you this whisp of plastic. No, really. We mean it. Go on... You'll get used to it. I bet by the time you hit the door, you'll be right as rain." (Yeah, my checkout lady reminds me of the Oracle)
At least there's this site to keep me occupied now that the cold weather has set in. And they say I have too much free time...
At least there's this site to keep me occupied now that the cold weather has set in. And they say I have too much free time...
Thursday, January 01, 2004
Two Thousand and Four
What? Just the other day it was 21 Dec 03... Now it's officially O-Four. Hmmm... We rang in the New Year in typical old married couple fashion (ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ). Shortly before O-Three expired we could be found playing the Dora the Explorer version of UNO with the Kids and Grandparents. Playing cards with children is great fun. Always fun when you say to your child, "OK, you can play a red card or a 2, or a Wild Card. And don't tell me what you've got." Of course instead of laying a card down or drawing one, the child will always answer with, "I don't have any reds or 2s. Just got a Green 7, Blue 6 and a Yellow 1".
All in all 2003 was a good year. I could post a list of the Best of 2003 like what's found here. But, I try not to let my mind wander to the past too often lest it find a nice cozy spot to settle down and not come back. I could wax poetically about how time marches on and how change is the only constant, but I'm not really sure when you officially cross over from speaking, to ruminating, to waxing. This comment kind of sums up the depth of my thoughts on the past year.
All in all 2003 was a good year. I could post a list of the Best of 2003 like what's found here. But, I try not to let my mind wander to the past too often lest it find a nice cozy spot to settle down and not come back. I could wax poetically about how time marches on and how change is the only constant, but I'm not really sure when you officially cross over from speaking, to ruminating, to waxing. This comment kind of sums up the depth of my thoughts on the past year.
